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I have no idea why I'm feeling so melancholy at the moment. That's… - Vox Audita Perrit, Literra Scripta Manet.... — LiveJournal
The heard word is lost, the written letter remains...
I have no idea why I'm feeling so melancholy at the moment. That's the only word I can think of to sum up my feelings. I feel weary, slightly sad, relaxed....I don't know.

I should be happy. Andrew returns tomorrow, I'm on holidays, my school results have been consistent which means I'm on the road to getting a good end-of-year result.....why am I feeling so down, then?

I've been thinking about the future as of late, and what I want to do and such. I'm worried to say the least. I worry about leaving school and not being able to get into university or get a job, I worry what I'm going to be like at 30 and wondering whether I'll get married and have children like I want to. I'm worried it'll all go down the drain and I'll end up on the streets or something....

Shit. Perhaps I'm worrying about this kinda stuff waaayyyy too early, but it's been nagging in the back of my mind since the holidays began. I have mere months left until my 12 years of education finishes. I know I shouldn't panic.......

Still, here I am, panicking. Please someone tell me it'll turn out alright in the end.....

Current Mood: scared scared
Current Music: Killing Me Softly- The Fugees

3 comments or Leave a comment
moony_girl13 From: moony_girl13 Date: July 6th, 2002 08:12 am (UTC) (Link)
:hugs: Don't worry, you still have lots of time to think about things! And I'm pretty sure you'll get into university or get a job :)
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 6th, 2002 11:10 am (UTC) (Link)

From a person who isn't a LiveJournal user but always reads your stories

Well...I think it's perfectly normal to think about the far future and everyone does it once in a while because we're all afraid of failing. IMHO anyways. I know I do it a lot because I don't want to dissapoint my parents and what they raised me to be, which is NOT to end up a dissapointment. Example: I'm in college right now and am done with my first year, but still have no idea what field of study I want to get into; so sometimes I wonder 'what the hell is wrong with me?' because I'm scared of what I will become. What kind of person will I be in the future? Will I make a difference? Or will I end up at a menial job for the rest of my life? Hey, it's a given that you think about the future; and it's also a given that you are afraid because you don't know what it'll bring. I think the future always has a way of working itself out and all you can do is make the right decisions now and have faith in yourself and in those you love.
Yeah, that's my speal of the day, which I hope helped a little. Take care.
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 8th, 2002 04:37 am (UTC) (Link)


hey steph, i know exactly how u feel. the thought of next year is so scary - we are presented with a million different paths and only one we can take. and running thru our heads is the thought 'but is it the right one?'. the destination gets lost in the far horizon, and we cant see the future when we so desperatly want to. but that is what life is all about, making choices and living out the consequences. i know you steph, ur a good person with a big heart and great mind, and while u may worry about what step ur going to take and if it is the right one, you, like alll the rest of us frenzied seniors, have to trust in ourselves to take that first step and to live the life that we only dream of. and rock on snape.
3 comments or Leave a comment