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One thing after another... - Vox Audita Perrit, Literra Scripta Manet.... — LiveJournal
The heard word is lost, the written letter remains...
One thing after another...
I think in the future, when I look back on the two years I spent on honours, I'll look back on it as more than a bit of a struggle. Not just the whole writing process, but the personal hurdles it raised too.

I bring this up because mum and I had to take our dog Elliott to be put to sleep at the vet this afternoon. Months of medication but continually deteriorating health meant there was nothing more we could do for him. It was a crushing experience, not the least because Elliott was Maryke's dog, and it feels like one of the remaining pieces of her life with us is now gone.

I mentioned just wanting to retreat into a cave like a hermit a few entries ago. I still feel that way. I served at an ordination last week and got into a conversation with one of the seminarians, a Nigerian who told me he was going on retreat this week. When I was in high school, I didn't exactly take retreats seriously. But now it seems rather sensible to me, if just for the idea of having time away to contemplate and think things over. Taking a moment, as it were. If I ever put myself through work like this again- and I'm bound to at some point, because the idea of a MPhil or PhD is always attractive- I might seriously look into the idea.

I just....want to shut myself away from the outside world. Because Real Life is really kicking my ass at the moment. Most of my friends are on holiday, and I don't like my chances of being able to catch up with them, despite the fact that I haven't seen some of them in months. Dad had to fire a co-worker recently, so despite the fact that I'm getting more hours (and more money, therefore), there's less time to do thesis work. I come home from work tired, and lacking in motivation to do anything other than crash in front of the tv. I really hope Dad finds a replacement soon, because I really need that extra day to keep up the work. I hate being stagnant, especially when time is of the essence.

The one bright side is that I do have an introduction to show Rick this week, even if I think it sucks. And I know that I will pull myself together (the entirely cliched phrase of 'hang in there' sticks in my mind, mostly because my Latin lecturer used to scribble it on my less-than-perfect homework assignments). It's not that I'm even falling apart in the first place....I just feel rather overwhelmed right at this moment and need to vent. So there it is.

Current Mood: crappy crappy

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From: lillibetpip Date: July 1st, 2008 12:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hi Steph, just a note to let you know you're not alone: I know how stressful honours can be and remember how everything seems to pile on top of it. But hey, don't forget that there are only four rules. And don't forget I'm only down the road ;-) Lots of Love, Lil.
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