Steph (normandie_m) wrote,

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You know, there's really nothing funnier than seeing Josh Groban sitting at his piano and singing about 'F*cking Ben Affleck' in that amazing voice of his. And if you have no clue what I'm talking about? YOUTUBE. RIGHT NOW. Even if you don't know who Jimmy Kimmel is, you'll die laughing anyway. But watch Sarah Silverman's 'F*cking Matt Damon' video first, so you know the backstory.

Now, that said? Hotel Babylon recap time nao! Obviously cut for spoilers, and loads of screencaps.

Better episode than the series opener, I thought. Nothing like a good character actor like Alan Davies to make the show interesting. Otto's an interesting character, and even though it looks like he's not there for good, it's good to have him there. I'm glad Alexandra Moen had a lot to do in this episode as Emily, she's a lot of fun too. It looks like they're gearing up to have a strong cast when Max Beesley and Natalie Mendoza leave. Maybe it won't be the same without Charlie and Jackie, but I'd still watch.

Oooh, Tony's narrating this episode is he? Maybe because they're starting to prepare for Charlie's departure, they're getting other characters in on the narration. Anyway, he seems to be in charge of procuring Valentines gifts for the guests.

LMAO. Oh, Ben.

Alexandra Moen's in the opening credits! Glad Emily's sticking around.

....though she's running late for the morning meeting, it seems.

And when she does arrive, she points out the obvious: that is, the crappy review the hotel restaurant got given by an influential food critic. But seriously, she's so cute. She has graphs and handouts prepared to convince everyone that hiring a new chef with Michelin stars is a Good Idea. But Charlie's like 'Nah.'....

....mostly because he's rather keen on having dinner with Anna on Valentine's day. They're arguing over appropriate times when Ben interrupts to announce some super-posh guests have arrived., is that a random thought bubble emerging from Charlie's head? Like the sort of thing you see on The Sims? Clearly Charlie's got Woohoo on the mind.

And what exactly is Emily planning?

Charlie reluctantly goes and tells Chef Adam to get back on his game and not slack off again.

Oh boy, there are abstainers staying in the hotel. This isn't going to end well.

Charlie asks Tony to buy him some perfume for a girl. Anna, obviously.

OMG, ALAN DAVIES! Not playing a goofy or socially awkward character! For those keeping a tally of the number of Julie Sawalha's exes appearing on the show, we're up to three: Dexter, Alan and Keith Allen (who was guesting in series one).

Ben shows us his best 'O' face.

Tony thinks these guests checking in are porn stars....

TONY/JACKIE FOREVER. No really, the actors have really good chemistry. Even when they're arguing over possible porn stars staying in the hotel.

It's a cook-off! In the red corner, we have cool-as-a-cucumber Otto, and in the blue, the stressed and cranky Adam.

And the staff get to act as the food tasters.

Commence the montages of the characters trying food and doing their best 'OMG my tastebuds are having orgasms!' expressions.

Including a screencap of the desserts because for me, eating out at a really nice restaurant is all about the special desserts on offer.

In non-food related plot, Anna's fallen in with the super posh family in a major way. Including a flirty friendship with the couple's son.

And Charlie's horribly jealous, so he decides he'll look after the family from now on.

The boys watch porn and try to figure out whether it's been filmed in the hotel. And Jackie decides to join in.

Since Otto won the cook-off, he's the new head chef. I am loving Alan Davies in this role, playing the suave, arrogant guy. Makes such a great change from Jonathan Creek!

Check out the plaque. Oooh.

Emily walks past James and Tony and makes a kissy face. Clearly it was meant for James.

Otto gives a speech to the troops in preparation for the Valentines dinner.

Emily is still so frigging cute. She's giving out Valentines cards to everyone!

Jackie has gotten diamond earrings from her dentist boyfriend. Anna didn't get anything, and it seems that she and Charlie have cooled somewhat after the previous night.

Anna gets to go shopping with Lady Hamilton, and is given a necklace. But she says she can't accept it. If this was series one, you know she would have taken it.

Inspecting the restaurant before the food critic arrives for a re-assessment of the food, Emily decides the art needs to go. But James is having none of it, hee!

Anna's been invited to drinks with the Hamiltons. Love the dress. Charlie's still acting like a jealous twat though.

Things have been running fairly smoothly thus far in the kitchen, but then three of the chefs get food poisoning from the lobsters, which turn out to be three days old. Eeek!

When one of the old lobsters gets sent out though, James has to sprint for it. Commence silly slo-mo run to save the bad lobster from being served to the food critic!

Thankfully he gets there in time. And some other poor sod in the restaurant tonight will be getting food poisoning after their romantic dinner.

Anna goes to meet the Hamiltons for drinks.....only to discover they've taken everything and left. For all her trouble, Anna's been left the necklace she refused to take earlier.

As it happens, they're con artists. Very good ones who got away with everything. Though you'd think she'd start snogging her toy boy after they'd pulled away from the hotel.

Anna explains to Charlie about how the hotel's been conned out of forty-five thousand pounds. Charlie's still a jealous twat and can't believe Anna fell for their act.

After a dinner with a disinterested boyfriend who's not proposing after all, miserable female guest is comforted by Tony. And he gives her the perfume that Charlie was going to give to Anna. Aw!

Adam, who disappeared earlier in the evening after being rebuked by Otto, is found by Emily in one of the storage rooms with a large knife. He's upset over personal problems at home affecting his work.

Thankfully Charlie stops him from doing something stupid.

And having given a glowing appraisal of the food, the critic has his picture taken for the paper with the new chef and Emily. Who happens to be his goddaughter, the clever clever girl.

Jackie catches the boys listening at the door to the room where the porn stars might be staying. She bets Tony fifty pounds that the guests aren't porn stars.

To resolve the bet, they do the obvious thing: send Ben over the balcony mission impossible-style to spy on them.

Said porn stars are freaks? So Jackie wins her bet. And I'm all about these two and their banter. Dammit, why's Jackie leaving?

Charlie eventually realises he's been a twit and tries to apologise to Anna for being jealous. But Anna's like 'Screw this, I'm leaving'.

As it happens, the hotel porn stars turn out to be the good Christian abstainers. Who didn't see this coming?

Anna's walking home when Charlie magically appears in front of her. Or not. He knows the path she takes to get home, anyway.

He's come to have a last attempt at wooing Anna. By giving her the necklace.

And thus, Charlie has snogged the three lead females on the cast. Let's see if he fits Emily and Tanya the maid in before he leaves.

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